Sunday, December 19, 2010

Letter to God

Dear Lord,
Please help me stop contemplating on my life right now. I may not be earning like I used to but I didn't pass on food and being hungry and going homeless. I may not be the young lady before but I didn't feel like ageing. I may not have improved technically when it comes to work, with all my forgetfullness and easy-going habits and yet You continuously give me chances which makes me believe in myself again. I may not be the good girlfriend to B and yet he never failed to pursue and understand me despite that I always opted on quitting. You always do give me second chances, should I say, nth chances. To have me realized that living a life indeed is awesome and being human is beautiful with all my flaws You never failed to show Your love and bless me with things that matters more than money - my friends, my love and my family. I should stop worrying for things for tomorrow, for You always know when to provide, just enough to handle for the moment. I never had thanked You before when I resolve a problem in my project, when I'm safe on every after travel, on every birthdays, on everything. I'm such an ungrateful child, always complaining and whining. I'm loved, and You always show it.

Please help me have an open heart. To be sensitive enough for other people's differences. Please help me think twice on words before they come out of my mouth, or a hundred times thought when its unpleasant. Please make me a blessing to others, please take out my selfishness, my negative thoughts, my insecurities. Sometimes I doubt You on things I hadn't got a grip on, like when You took our parents so soon, and when I dont get what I want. What I didn't know is that You plan better than anyone else, and better things awaits when faith holds strong. You gave me & my siblings our Atcha and her family to support us on. We grew up normal, educated and healthy despite being orphaned early. Still I'm weak, yet you blessed me so much of some things I realized other people might be more of deserving more than I do. I'm ashamed of myself.

It is indeed a long list of things I should be thankful of, yet You never expect a return but a gratitude. Thank You. This year is a blast.

I had fun in the deserts of Dubai.

Had a chance to bond with Atcha in Ilocos Norte.

Made it through bad times with a true friend in Vietnam.

Felt like walking next to Angelina Jolie in Cambodia.

And redeemed my demoted feelings back to Indonesia.

Your daughter,

1 comment:

  1. Indeed God provides just enough. I am grateful that He gave me a true friend like you. xoxo